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Imposter Syndrome Doesn’t Resonate with Me

Imposter syndrome. It’s a term that’s everywhere in the design community. Many of my peers feel inadequate, even though they have clear talent and achievements. Yet, I don’t feel the same way. As a designer, I’ve never had that kind of insecurity. Sure, I worry about how my work will be received. After all, pouring your heart into a project and having it judged isn’t easy. But imposter syndrome? It’s a concept that doesn’t connect with me.

Embracing Confidence Over Doubt

Since the start of my career, I’ve always done my best with what I had. Whether people praised or criticised my work, I’ve been strong enough to handle it. I see challenges not as signs that I’m not good enough but as chances to grow. This way of thinking has protected me from the self-doubt that defines imposter syndrome.

Is It Nature or Nurture?

This makes me wonder: does my lack of imposter syndrome come from my upbringing? I don’t recall my single mum giving me special confidence to guard against these feelings. But she never put crazy pressure on me to overachieve. It’s interesting, especially since I’ve often felt disadvantaged in other aspects of life. I never learned much about money or networking, partly because I grew up in a poorer family that didn’t drink. Talking about money or being in social situations can be awkward for me, even though I was incredibly popular growing up.

The Paradox of Ease and Difficulty

It’s ironic that while the creative process feels natural to me, I struggle with what others might consider basic life skills. Dealing with finances or feeling comfortable at networking events doesn’t come easily. I can handle them, but I avoid them when possible. Perhaps because design feels so innate, I don’t question my place in the field. It’s the one area where I feel completely at home, free from the insecurities that plague me elsewhere.

Recognising Others’ Struggles

What’s puzzling is that I’ve known brilliant people who’ve achieved incredible things, yet they still suffer from imposter syndrome. It makes me wonder if my perspective is the exception rather than the rule. I used to think those who felt like imposters were simply in the wrong place, but clearly, it’s more complicated than that.

Understanding Without Experiencing

While I may not personally relate to imposter syndrome, I acknowledge that it’s a genuine and often debilitating experience for many. My journey has been different, shaped by factors I may not fully understand. Perhaps it’s a mix of upbringing, personal mindset, and the unique quirks that make us who we are. What I do know is that it’s important to create environments where everyone feels validated and supported, whether they struggle with self-doubt or, like me, navigate different challenges.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you relate to imposter syndrome, or have you found ways to overcome it?

People Over Profit

What’s very apparent is how a few people have profited and amassed so much personal wealth that is almost sickening given how many employees can barely afford healthcare, never mind the overwhelmingly high unemployment.

Wouldn’t it be better if companies are not allowed to pay shareholders profit unless they meet a year-on-year increase in employment to even out the playing field? I’m sure smarter people could work out a logical incentive for companies to rather employ people rather than be penalized for their excessive profits and the definition of being wealth becomes how many people do you employ instead of how much profit you make.

Make America Safe Again

In 2017 I bought a cap that seemed to get people’s attention, and once they read the copy, they would usually smile and give me a friendly nod. I was skeptical of a post-Obama government under Trump, and to this day I can’t believe he’s actually the US President.

Make America Skate Again

I probably don’t have a say, I was not born there, I cannot vote, I don’t pay taxes, well I have if you take into account city tax etc when I have visited my favorite city in the world. New York has been hit really hard, but then so has the rest of the country. But it seems to be more of an achievement than something to be concerned about by the government and it’s bothering me.

I truly avoid politics, both locally and abroad, and bite my tongue often as I’m simply not a politician. I watched this video earlier, and despite the very ‘Merican accent, I am glad to hear someone vocalise what I suspect the rest of the world feels about their president.

There honestly doesn’t seem to be a real threat to Trump though that will make people come to their senses, they seem caught up in being Republican or Democrat and you’re either one way or the other regardless of who ends up in the white house.

For all sorts of reason I love America, and it pains me to see the country in the state that it’s in. I know I’m not offering much in the way of conclusive wisdom, but I needed to just express that I am concerned as someone who lives in Africa, so maybe the people of the United States should start doing something about their America.

Let me just tell you, it’s not safe, not from Covid-19, it’s radicalism, racism, class, poverty, the environment, capitalism, consumerism, war machine, the president, the government etc. But let’s focus on just this one thing, the Global Pandemic. It’s not a race you want to be the leader of. I care a great deal about the friends I have, the people I admire and aspire to and the country as a whole. Please make America safe again.

The rebellious loner

I’m pretty much a loner, quite comfortable being on my own, and while I don’t, or even like doing everything by myself, I’m more comfortable than most being alone.

This pandemic has forced me to be alone, and I can admit that staying in, by myself can sometimes get a bit much. Now I’ve been out, I go grocery shopping about once a week, very constructively shop and before my anxiety gets out of control, I’m usually home again.

But I find myself wanting to go out, to see people, to not be alone. This contradicts my introverted anti-social tendencies. For those unaware, this in no way means I don’t interact with people, am not charming and able to be around people, I just choose not to. At least not at the same level as most other people.

There’s another side to me though, the rebel. I don’t like being told that I have to stay at home and I can only exercise at certain times and buy certain things. It makes me want to start a rebellion and be all anti-establishment.

But who am I fooling, I don’t actually want to be out there, I’m quite comfortable in my own space with my own company. But I do have empathy for those who need people and social interaction. If not for myself, then for you. I hope this passes soon and you can all get back to your Friday night drinks and attention-seeking. Otherwise, this loner might rebel for you.

Remote should be the norm

This pandemic has changed a lot of things, most obviously for those who can, working from home, remotely. People have embraced working at home, having meetings on zoom and this new way of working appears to be more productive.

While I can certainly understand a lot of this as someone who has worked from home for at least half of my career, it’s not without its challenges. But let’s not focus on that, let’s look at working remotely during and post-pandemic. The latter being something I’d recommend, and these are the reasons why.

  • Productivity is certainly up, so long as people manage the amount of time they’re working and don’t burn out, that’s a huge benefit.
  • It can give us more time in our day.
  • There’s less risk to your well being as you’re not exposed to as much crime, accidents, pandemics, and the likes.
  • Time saved not driving to work, never mind the frustration.
  • If you’re not driving to work, you could get a cheaper car, if not getting rid of it altogether.
  • Working when you want to work, more when you feel productive rather than having to be productive during office hours.
  • Time with your kids, helping them get ready for school, their homework, and actually watching them grow up.
  • Time with your partner.
  • Time to do things at a more convenient time. We have all tried to fit in going to the bank, grocery shopping, school sports, mowing the lawn, etc all on a Saturday morning as it’s the only time we have.
  • Relaxing in the comfort of your own home.
  • Less time and money spent on work clothes and as much grooming.
  • Cooking a healthier diet instead of junk from the canteen.
  • A pet in reach that wouldn’t annoy your colleagues with allergies.
  • Fewer distractions and bureaucracy.
  • Infrastructure cost reduction for your company.
  • The positive effects on the environment.

The list can go on and on. With a decent internet connection, a computer, and hopefully a dedicated space where you can be disciplined enough to do your work, you could be set up and ready to go. OF course not all work can be done this way and yes there are many good reasons to go into an, especially for those people who feed off the energy of others and read the room. There are pros and cons on either side of this, and ultimately you and your company can decide to do what’s best, but post-pandemic, I think it would be something to consider if it is better for you and positively impacts your employer.

Random thoughts during the pandemic

Since the pandemic started to really impact my life, sometime in March, despite how calmly I have tried to navigate my way, I can admit that it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. It really is hard to make sense of things and even harder to express this without sounding like you’re losing the plot. I have started a lot, but not finished all that much. So people really haven’t heard from me. It’s 4am, I’m wide awake, my head is full of random thoughts, so I thought I’d attempt to share them with you.

  • We have very few facts, this whole pandemic is a mess, filled with conspiracy theories and conflicting information.
  • I don’t want the virus to spread, so feel that the lockdown ended too soon.
  • I fear the economic impact this is having and believe that anyone who is younger than 60 years old, has no previous health issues and needs to go back to work, really should.
  • Remote work should become the new norm, pandemic or not, I think there are a lot of benefits to this (I’ll write a more detailed post).
  • It seems like a lot of businesses are not doing so well if a month or two in, they are already letting staff go.
  • Businesses should probably have a contingency plan/fund in place before they start paying out profit/bonuses.
  • I don’t know about other countries, but South Africa’s unemployment is high and not a problem I realised until now.
  • I try to trust the numbers as my guide, but I am concerned that the numbers are fudged due to dodgy practices within the medical industry.
  • Nurses do a lot of the really hard work while caring for patients and I can only hope they finally get recognised and rewarded for their efforts.
  • I have some gym equipment, but I miss going to the gym.
  • Some solid advice around exactly what supplements we should all be taking would really help, but there are too many opinions and not enough facts out there, I am aware we’re all unique, just wish I knew exactly who to talk to get my exact requirements.
  • I have started cooking more, although I still struggle to cook for myself.
  • I’m alright staying at home, but I don’t like being told that I have to.
  • A secluded self-sufficient farm would be ideal now.
  • I’d like to build more of a community with my friends going forward. I grew up within walking distance to most of my friends and truly miss that now.
  • Creating YouTube videos seems impossible at the moment, but it seems like it’s not just me, a lot of the creators I follow have stopped releasing content.
  • I have not learned a new language, written a book, or baked sour dow bread yet.
  • The Covid-19 swab test looks horribly uncomfortable.
  • The environment seems to be benefitting from the pandemic.
  • I have not filled my car up with petrol since the lockdown began, but my battery has died, so can’t drive my car anyway.
  • As someone who has paid tax, I cannot personally see a lot of benefits.
  • I miss spending time with my son.
  • Ecommerce and online education need prioritising and are huge opportunities.
  • Surprised that I don’t miss coffee nearly as much as I thought I would.
  • I spend more time on Twitter these days than any other social media.
  • TikTok doesn’t appear to be slowing down, think it might really be benefitting.
  • Think there needs to be more social media distancing.
  • I still can’t believe Trump is the President of the United States.
  • Watched UFC 249 over the weekend, it was the first live event with no audience in attendance and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
  • I try not to generalise, especially about people, so I have learned to add the word ‘some’ before making statements that might offend some people.
  • Presidents, CEO’s and celebrities should probably not be allowed to tweet, it should be managed professionally.
  • Covid-19 conspiracies aside, ignoring the financial meltdown, does it seem like we’re closer than ever to World War III?
  • My sleep is a mess.
  • I can hardly take care of myself anymore, yet I constantly feel like I could be doing more to help others.
  • After finally feeling like I’d reached a level of success in my career, I now find myself struggling to find work and this pandemic has done nothing to help the situation.
  • Still confused as to why the Pentagon released a video confirming UFO’s and no one is really talking about it.
  • Inspired by the people who are still trying to stay positive through the pandemic.
  • The crazies are out.
  • Don’t think the world will ever be the same after this, despite how many people seem to want to go back to the way things were.
  • Glad I don’t drink, smoke, or do anything else that has addictive dependencies.
  • Still haven’t started a podcast, but really should.
  • Things are changing all the time.
  • I’m conflicted about billionaires, capitalism and the 1%.
  • I think people are going to have a greater appreciation for eating out after this.
  • Got to get used to uncertainty.
  • Two years ago this time I was in New York & London, two of the last places on earth I’d like to be right now.
  • I think things are going to get worse.
  • I also think we’re in this for the next couple of years.
  • The nice thing about having your own website is that you can’t be demonetised or your content removed like I’m hearing about from some creators.
  • Is it winter yet?
  • It makes me sad thinking about how many people are suffering.
  • There doesn’t seem to be a lot of new TV & movies being released.
  • We need a cure for this virus.
  • In half an hour, I’m allowed to go exercise. I intend on walking to get a coffee.

I could go on endlessly, my head is spinning. Oddly, I’m good, I think …

Just Pause

Like many countries out there, we are currently in a 21 Day Lockdown as a response by our government to try to reduce to spreading of the Corona Virus.

I read a lot of encouraging posts online telling people to write that book, learn a new language and start those projects. It’s not terrible advice, but I do feel it might go against what I believe the universe is trying to tell us to do.

In our fast-paced, capitalist, hustle culture, we have destroyed the earth, literally destroying our own environment, become completely disconnected from one another, destroying a healthy culture and have very little humanity left.

Perhaps we should listen to mother nature when she’s caused us to literally shut down. While there are times of the year where our culture enjoys some holidays, this isn’t nearly as relaxing as we probably need, given the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

I’d encourage you to take advantage of the lockdown. Sleep late. Read a book. Think deep thoughts. Connect with your family. While some people will still need to work from home, your weekends will be much quieter not running around trying to squeeze your life into the 2 days. Enjoy it, take the break, literally don’t do anything. Honestly, when last did you do absolutely nothing?

Can you even … just pause.

COVID-19

Covid-19 explained

Currently, the world is experiencing a pandemic and I thought I’d reflect on my personal situation during these strange times.

I have been working from home for 4 months now, so I’m not nearly as freaked out as other people are staying at home in social-distancing myself.

I am healthy, physically and mentally. Washing my hands. Not touching my face.

Looking at all the positive things happening through all of this, rather than focussing on all the negative, fear and panic so dominant online.

My thoughts and prayers are with the people who earn hourly and weekly wages. They will be hit hardest. So wish I was in a position to do more.

I haven’t felt any need to make videos during this period as I find it a bit weird and I’m already having my own internal battle on the value I bring to my non-existent audience on YouTube.

While I expect to still be busy, I do want to try and use this less distracting time to be productive and do the things I usually don’t have time or energy for. So hopefully there will be some progress with the work section of my site, which should reflect more of my journey than endless screens of out-dated work.

Open to the lessons this pandemic might teach us. Currently, a need to care more about community, hygiene and connecting with people I know is top of mind.

Remote working is presenting all sorts of new challenges for people and I believe there will be a huge cultural shift in general. I hope my life experience has taught me enough to get through it. I’m also enthusiastic to give guidance to and help others through this.

For anyone who is struggling mentally or who just needs a friend. Feel free to get in touch, I will do my best to be there for you always.

My appreciation for the medical industry, educators and retail staff at grocery stores who seem most impacted on a day-to-day basis. Your bravery and commitment of service is truly something to marvel at.

To all the people who have directly been affected, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

At this stage, the only sensible thing to do is to not spread the disease any further. None of us know how long this will last and how much this will impact the world as we know it. But try and stay positive, be helpful and don’t give up.

Take care and stay cool ✌️

#StayTheFuckHome

Recording your life

My box of photos

I have this box of photos that captured pieces of my life. They remind me of time, places, experiences, but most importantly people. I love going through this box, I love sharing this box and I’m excited to gift this box to my son, so he can remember me.

The problem is that these memories stopped, over 10 years ago. I literally don’t have photos of my son printed out, put in an album, the way photos were shared with me.

There are photos on Facebook, but I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that it’s dying off, the once channel that changed our life and was something we can’t live without, has become something I check once a week. Will it be around long after I am gone?

Then back to my own life, for the past 10+ years, I have taken photos on my phone, I have accidentally deleted them, or stored them somewhere I can’t remember or access anymore. So now there’s this massive gap between the last photos taken of me in the early 2000s and now.

Thanks to the internet wayback machine I can view some sites I built, but who would know what to look for. As I have built sites in various media types, only so much of it is recorded and as we slim down our portfolios or simply capture a few screens, how will anyone know what I have done in my lifetime. Now while I could dedicate a whole bunch of time adding everything to this website, I can’t renew this domain for eternity, so what do I do. This is who I am, what I have done and where I spent the majority of my life.

I plan on looking for as many photos as I can, and printing as many of them as I can to share with my son, to document my story for him. I plan on deleting the rubbish to reduce my data footprint and make it more manageable and finding a way of storing this record online. The same goes for my work, there just has to be a way I haven’t thought of yet. While also making an effort to document more of my life, which I honestly don’t really share. I really just regurgitate what’s going on in the industry now or will get some attention, so people think I’m smart, get inspired and shamelessly hire me so that I can pay the bills.

It’s time to start doing a better job of capturing my life, to remind myself and those that care about my journey. How do you record yours?