Social Media Etiquette

I’m anything but a “social media guru”, but I do keep in touch with some of the most influential innovators in the digital industry, and might have signed up to a thing or two before many other people, which is my way of saying, I’m an old dog and I there might be some sound advice I can offer in this space without sporting ninja status.

  1. Don’t sweat spelling mistakes: If you were cool at school, you didn’t care about acing a spelling test, and you know what, it’s ok now too. Sure you could really put your foot in it and things could completely get read out of context. But what does it matter? You’re a person, and there are spell checkers, but they just haven’t implemented them on Twitter or Facebook. Your friends won’t care either, unless of course they’re copywriters (I have a few of those) but then they’d be correcting you at the dinner table while you talk with food in your mouth.
  2. Don’t tweet & share your Foursquare check-ins: The only people who care what badge you earned and where you check-in are people on Foursquare, no one else gives a fuck! If you must share your location, Twitter has location-based tweet info and it’s easy enough to check-in on Facebook. You will lose friends and alienate people!
  3. Don’t make a #hash of things: Apparently hashtags add some sort of value when tweeting, but you really shouldn’t use too many, you look like a twat cause hashtags are meant to be relevant to the topic you are tweeting about. But using too many, is considered spamming on Twitter and makes you seem like you’re trending #stupid #thick #dumb #etc
  4. Posting endless images with motivational text on your wall: I love a good thought, especially the really deep ones that kinda blow my hair back the whole day and I kinda want to try to fit that pearl of wisdom into a conversation. But adding all these images about things that motivate you goes against the fabric of the internet, and adding ten in a row is just showing off your copy and pasting skills, while wasting my mobiles bandwidth. Next time you have pearls of wisdom to share, type one up as an affirmation. If you’re bursting to share it, tell the lady who packs your bags at the check out at your local grocery store, she might care more.
  5. Public Ranting: Your social profile, unless set to private (which honestly is very anti-social) is very fucking public, so if you use Twitter to bitch about the traffic, your fight with your sister and the runny guts you got from an Indian restaurant you frequent, all the time, then don’t be surprised when people think you’re a grumpy miserable prick. I simply don’t want to start each day with another of your rants congesting my feed and harshing my morning mellow. Be the cheerful, fun-loving friend I get to hang out with on the weekends. There I said it.
  6. Posting images of hot chicks/dudes: While we all like to admire hotness, keep it to yourself or your select group of friends on a private mailing list. Posting nude-ish chicks and saying “yes-please” makes you look like a horny teenager. It’s a public forum and not your locker at the firehouse. You wouldn’t put half-naked bodies on your office walls or living room, so don’t do it online, unless of course it’s for motivation in the fitness section of pinterest (we’re ok with that, like we are with talking in the 3rd person or for everyone).
  7. Don’t have a conversation on Twitter: I’ve said this a few times before, Twitter is not an instant messenger. It’s easy to fall into the trap, but honestly, if you want to get into a conversation or tell someone to check there mail, and you must use Twitter, DM them. Otherwise find another way of having a conversation that isn’t a public feed … ever heard of msn or Skype?
  8. Posting a link without a description: Facebook has an amazing ability to pull the information of a website, sometimes insert an image and the need for a description to a link is not required, but on twitter it makes absolutely no sense, especially with a shortened url. Hell even a hashtag would be better than nothing, too many though and that makes you look like a twat!
  9. Promoting yourself online but you have a shit website: I buy into social media too, you don’t have to be a “social media guru” to know that it has benefits to any business, but whats the point of investing in a social media campaign that pushes you to ugly website?
  10. Don’t hahahahahahahahahahaha at everything you find funny: It’s cute once or twice to hahahahaha, but if that’s the only thing you do when people you know post something funny, then stop it, you look fucken nuts! Appreciate it, give it a like, hell share it and by all means make a comment, just don’t hahahahahaha the fuck out of things.

Final thought, I wanted to suggest that no one call them self a “Social Media Guru”! I might have used a similar name to describe my online presence, but I have never sold myself as some sort of guru, and neither should you. We all use social media, even your parents and yes, some people have made an exclusive career out of it, but not even Mark Zuckerberg calls himself a social media guru, and lets face it, he wrote the book, get it?!